This wasn't the post I had in my head for today but some days that's how it is when you write, some pieces pop into your head & almost write themselves.
It's been a really challenging week, emotionally challenging for so many reasons....
yesterday I felt completely overwhelmed.
A family member passed away last week.....
someone I'd never met in fact, his mother is my mother's cousin.
He was just 30-something, much much too young.
He became ill & everything happened very quickly but it was a terrible & heartbreaking shock.
My heart aches for his parents & siblings. Such awful sadness.
My mother attended the funeral &, as often happens when a young person dies, the church was overflowing. When life is unbearably sad, we have to look for something positive....
he was living at home & had a very happy family life....
without a doubt, this young man knew that he was very loved.
Today is my wedding anniversary....
I don't write about it here every year, simply because sometimes my blog is personal & often it isn't.
I hadn't planned to fill it with lovely images of beautiful dresses & words of love....
but it just happened that way.
One image led to another....that's Pinterest for you.
I read this lovely post by my favourite Brooklyn blogger Natalie & loved what she says at the end of it....
"I remind myself that the only thing I need to do in this life is love. "
Can you love too much? I don't think so.
And actually, at the end of the day, as anniversaries come & go, as we get older....and, when we get to the end of our life....
is anything really more important?
To love & be loved etc etc.
Love your family, love your friends, love where you live, love what you do....
and only order coffee that you absolutely love, no half measures.
because honestly if you don't , what's the point of it all?
My 13 year old daughter told me this week that she hated me. Several times.
You never think you'll hear those words from your own child.
She's not the first teenager to yell those words....and she won't be the last.
This too shall pass.
My husband works very long hours & it's very very rare that we get to do something just the two of us.
Today he was able to take a day off & we had plans in town while our children were at school.
And, can you believe it, my son is sick & my daughter is not at school because of a last minute teacher training day. Best laid plans and all that....!!
It's also raining....but then it rained torrentially on our wedding day.
There's a lot to be said for consistency.
My parents had a terrible marriage, they finally separated when I was eight years old after just nine years of marriage....
years of anger, violence & emotional damage was followed by many more years of anger & bitterness & a lot more emotional damage.
It took them another 20 years or so to get divorced.
The unanimous view is that they never should have got married.
I've heard & read people say that if marriage is work, then you're not in the right relationship.
I disagree with that, I think anything worthwhile requires work & conscious thought & effort.
I don't think you stay the same people that you were when you first married....
perhaps your essence stays the same but it's the circumstances that change & maybe that's where the challenge is, to ride it all out, to stay together on the same road, to remain connected.
I am very far from accomplished at knowing what makes a marriage work,
what works for one relationship doesn't necessarily work for another.....
but what I would say is....listen, love, be kind, talk, laugh.
And remember the things & personality traits that brought you together in the first place because those will almost always still be there, even if sometimes they get buried under all the other stuff that life throws at you.
....such cool photos, love these.