When I woke up this morning, all I could think about was how much I am missing my home right now....
I've barely been here the last couple of weeks, dropping my children at school in the morning, then heading straight for my Dad's house two hours away and returning home at night just to sleep.
It's been a huge challenge and this week I've been running on empty.....my Dad is worse and we now know he will not get better....the worst is yet to come.
My everyday life is very much based around my home and I like that....I am out a lot running errands, going into town, meeting friends, running my children around, sometimes I am out all day long....but my home is the heart of my day.
I went to bed last night yearning for a day of laundry, making beds, tidying drawers, supermarket shopping and baking cakes and cookies. I don't have a regular daily routine and am far far from a perfect-housewife-domestic-goddess....but I realised this morning I am craving my normal routines and daily tasks....but I just need to ground myself, to remind myself of this part of me, to comfort myself I guess and to be surrounded by the familiar and the things I can control.
I miss sitting at my kitchen table with my mug of tea, staring out at the green trees and blue sky and writing (and dreaming).
I miss my music and dancing and singing in my kitchen.
I miss my children talking nineteen to the dozen (at the same time) as they tell me about their day after school.
I miss my quick morning coffee with friends and being to listen and share our news.
I miss waking up and being able to appreciate the comfort of my bed because all I think about is how quickly I can get across London that morning.
It is funny the things that you miss....it isn't just the comfort of home, it is the familiarity, the safety and the being somewhere where you know what will happen and how it all works.
Quite simply, it's my happy place. It's ME.
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