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When I woke up this morning, all I could think about was how much I am missing my home right now....
I've barely been here the last couple of weeks, dropping my children at school in the morning, then heading straight for my Dad's house two hours away and returning home at night just to sleep.
It's been a huge challenge and this week I've been running on empty.....my Dad is worse and we now know he will not get better....the worst is yet to come.
My everyday life is very much based around my home and I like that....I am out a lot running errands, going into town, meeting friends, running my children around, sometimes I am out all day long....but my home is the heart of my day.
I went to bed last night yearning for a day of laundry, making beds, tidying drawers, supermarket shopping and baking cakes and cookies. I don't have a regular daily routine and am far far from a perfect-housewife-domestic-goddess....but I realised this morning I am craving my normal routines and daily tasks....but I just need to ground myself, to remind myself of this part of me, to comfort myself I guess and to be surrounded by the familiar and the things I can control.
I miss sitting at my kitchen table with my mug of tea, staring out at the green trees and blue sky and writing (and dreaming).
I miss my music and dancing and singing in my kitchen.
I miss my children talking nineteen to the dozen (at the same time) as they tell me about their day after school.
I miss my quick morning coffee with friends and being to listen and share our news.
I miss waking up and being able to appreciate the comfort of my bed because all I think about is how quickly I can get across London that morning.
It is funny the things that you miss....it isn't just the comfort of home, it is the familiarity, the safety and the being somewhere where you know what will happen and how it all works.
Quite simply, it's my happy place. It's ME.
Happy Friday....
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oh Simone my heart is heavy for you and your family. And you are so right, it is those little bits of normality that we might otherwise complain a little bit about which are so much was life IS. I am sorry for your father I can't imagine how hard that must be for you to deal with. xoxo
ReplyDeleteSuch a thoughtful post Simone and my heart goes out to you. I know what a difficult time this must be for you and your family. Your father is lucky to have you by his side and you to share this time with him. You will remember it always. Take care Simone...be sure to keep your health up too!
ReplyDeleteJeanne xxx
Oh sweetheart - you have been in my thoughts alot this week - partly because of an absence I sense from email and blogging. I knew you would have your hands full with your Dad's illness, so of course to read this made me feel so sad for you. I completely understand what you mean about longing for home and the ebb and flow of family life. That is your rock. I am sure the children miss you too...even though you are there to punctuate the day, they can tell when the focus is not completely on the home. Stay strong and as Jeanne says - keep your health up. Lou x
ReplyDeleteDear Simone, that was so beautiful to read! A big reminder of how lucky we all are! At the same time I'm so sorry you have to go through this! Stay strong!
ReplyDeletexo
Beautifully written Simone, and that last photograph looking out at the view expresses it so well visually. I had similar experiences with my mother, when she was in a nursing home very near to my home and I visited her twice a day for nearly two months. I felt just as you. It seems to me that while you're with your father the sadness is helped by your thoughts of home, "your" place. We are all thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteCaroline
Beautiful images and beautifully written as always. So sorry that you're going through really difficult times with your Dad. I can't imagine how hard that must be. Although I haven't told him in ages, my Dad is my everything. If something good can come out of a bad time, then your extra appreciation what wonderful family & friends you have is something that warms the heart.
ReplyDeletexxx Claire
oh lovely lovely simone...
ReplyDeletei am thinking of you - your time with your dad...
your time balancing all that makes up your day...
your gorgeous beautiful patient children...
what is still on your doorstep to come...
crossing london is your daily ritual for now...the life inside your home...the YOU will always be there, waiting for you to return...
it will be even more precious to you when you get back to your day to day...
take care...of your dad, yourself and your special family...
melissa xx
Just mostly pretty,fantastic post,dear Simone!
ReplyDeleteSo impressed me always:-)*
I placed not always my comments here by you,but I read you posts always,it is every time a touching for me,thank you!!!
Wish you wonderful Mom weekend:-)*
With Love,
***Violetta***
What a beautiful post. I cannot imagine how heavy your heart must be right now. You remain in my prayers and I am sending so much love and well wishes your way. Just focus on the little things in the moment. Sometimes, it helps... XoXo
ReplyDeletewildmagnolia9.blogspot.com
A wonderful post, and I really feel for you.Your "me" time will come back, but you will look back on the time spent with your Dad (despite the haul across London) with fondness. Sending you prayers from Spain (altho I am also British).xx
ReplyDeleteI Love these beautiful images and the first quote. Thank you for this beautiful posting!
ReplyDeletehttp://realbeauty-realbeauty.blogspot.com/
A beautiful post, dear Simone. My heart goes out to you as you go thru your dad's illness. I definitely know what you mean about doing your normal everyday while going thru the hard, unfamiliar of family illnesses. Just know that all of your friends around the world are sending you love and hugs during this time. Home is where you hang your heart and it is the absolute best place to me surrounded by your loved ones! Much love, dear friend! xxoo :)
ReplyDeleteOh Simone! I feel so much for you. I totally agree. It is the little daily moments that we must cherish-the ones that we miss more when they go away-hopefully not for long. Oh the comfort and joy we feel then!
ReplyDeleteKeeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Wishing you a pleasant weekend.
My dear friend Simone,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that your Dad will not be getting better.......it is such a difficult time when one's parents are gravely ill, I know, as I have been there 4 times. Just remember that you are doing everything that you can for him and it will stand you in good stead in the coming weeks. It is something that, as a daughter, we do automatically and, as difficult as it is, it also brings comfort. I am thinking of you Simone and just remember that you are doing brilliantly. As hard as it is,you are a wonderful daughter and you will have done everything that you could.
Take care Simone and look after yourself.
With much love. XXXX
What a lovely post and such pretty photos...
ReplyDeletexoxo
Dusty Rose
http://dustyroseinwonderland.blogspot.com
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSimone, I can so empathize about your dad...I went through the same thing several years ago. It hurts, I know. Hugs and prayers going out to you.
ReplyDeleteI've just been doing Friday Fabulousness a couple of times now. I decided to focus on Gregory Peck today. Was he not one of the most fabulously handsome men of all time? I'd love anyone to stop by my blog, enjoy Gregory's beauty, and say hello to me!
Blessings, Simone!
Cindy at Notes in the Key of Life
Oh Simone, lovely girl, my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry that you are walking through this sad journey. What a blessing you must be to your Dad and how lucky he must feel to have such a truly wonderful daughter. This time with him must be so tough, but also special.
ReplyDeleteI will be praying for calm, strength and good energy levels for you. Big hugs, Meredy xo
p.s. that Markus Zusak quote at the beginning of your post? Have you ever seen Markus Zusak interviewed? Oh my. He is beautiful both in looks AND what he says. Be still my beating heart:)
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is that you know that you are in my thoughts and I keep your Dad in my prayers. Sending big hugs (as usual) from across the pond. xo
ReplyDeleteOh Simone... Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteKristin
Darling I am sending you a big warm virtual hug from afar, and have been thinking of you so much lately. I am so sorry to hear your dad is not getting better and, as you say, that things are about to get worse. It must be very hard Simone and I want you to know that I am holding your hand in my mind. xx
ReplyDeleteI too need the rhythm of daily routines to stay grounded and our home is my cocoon.
I hope you find pockets of time for 'you' and that you find strength in the knowledge that you are thought of and loved all around the world!
We are with you darling.
xx C
Dear Simone, oh dear, that's terribly sad. I feel for you. At least your dad has you looking after him which I'm sure is cheering him up.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand how you feel about your house, my house is my favourite place in the world.
Thinking of you, love, C xx
Oh, Simone. I missed this one. My heart is heavy for you as well. You and I are in similar boats at the moment with our beloved Dads. Sending you a Hobart ♥ tonight. J x
ReplyDeleteI haven't been around much lately but I am thinking about you and your dad.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Zizette
I haven't been around lately so I missed this. I am thinking about you and your dad.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Zizette