I don't consider myself a slave to my Mental To-Do List but, like most of us, I certainly have a
neverending ongoing one.
With so much going on in my life recently, my usual daily routine seems to have gone out of the window....and some days, due to sheer emotional stress, I have felt barely able to function, accomplishing little if anything at all. I've have been very behind with things I do every day, at home and elsewhere....and I've simply had to let it go and try not to worry about it.
Like many people, I am good at giving advice to others - be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up, there's always tomorrow - but not so good at following my own words of wisdom.
I worked for quite a few years before I had my children but am now a stay at home mother. When you work in an office it's much easier to quantify what you are achieving (generally, not always...but you know what I mean!).....your in tray gets emptied, projects move along and get finished and you hopefully get promoted at some point.
But being at home of course doesn't work like that. Projects never seem to get finished, it's a job that literally covers every waking moment (and sometimes nightwork too) and there are many days in which you feel you never achieve anything WHATSOEVER!!!
You have to motivate yourself, you have no chance of promotion or bonuses and there is no chance of a duvet day or calling in sick.
Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way and I am where I want to be.
I think it's a hangover from years of working outside the home that is hard to shift - there is a satisfaction of being able to check things off a list that you never quite achieve at home.
I wasn't a list person....and now I am.
Sometimes it's the only way to feel you are Getting Stuff Done.
I read something recently that really resonated with me....it was the idea that some days you thrive and some days you survive.
Maybe because I have a million things going on right now, it was almost a relief to read this....no, there isn't a magic fairy that is going to come in and clean/tidy/wash/cook in my home when I have been away all day and come home too tired to do it all - but actually somehow it will all get done, my children will get to school and it's not really the end of the world.
Just thinking of it in terms of "thrive or survive" gave me a surprising clarity.
Some days you wake up and know that today is the day that everything is going to get crossed off your list and you might even get to the gym too....and other days it's just not going to happen and so really the best thing to do is sit and read a book for an hour or go and have coffee with a friend.
Some day, for whatever reason, are Survival Days....and you just get through them whatever way you can.
And actually, that's okay.