Holding On Tight....

I'm on the end-of-term-merry-go-round right now....
I've been on it for two weeks at least & we have another four weeks to go....
then it stops and finally, we exhale. 
And collapse with exhaustion usually.

I know that the summer term is always like this....
this year even more so though.
I'm on the school Summer Fair committee & it's my daughter's last term at this school so there are extra events....parties, a drama production, days spent at her new school.
The last this & the last that....goodbyes to old friends.
Happiness & sadness.

I'm really trying hard to see each day & each event not as just something to check off the list but as a moment to be savoured, enjoyed....treasured.
I'm holding on tight.

My daughter is moving from being one of 29 in her school year to being one of 260 in a year.
She now has a new mobile phone, she'll have her own set of housekeys soon & we'll no longer walk back and forth to school together each day.
I won't know all her schoolfriends or their parents.
I won't always know what she has for lunch.

We'll both be on a new & very large learning curve.

Big changes ahead.
Exciting ones.
New opportunities.
A whole new world for her.
New friends, new subjects to study, new teachers.

One minute she was four and a half years old and just starting school....
the whole family (including the 2 day old new baby brother) walks her to school, you hang her bag up on her peg with her name on it, you take a photo or five, you hand over her snack and drink, you communicate with the teacher if for no other reason than to let them know your daughter is new (as of course is every other child there!) & you are an extremely conscientious, loving, responsible parent who will be back at 3.30pm on the dot, you give your child the biggest squeeze and kiss possibly ever, then you slowly back out of the room, waving continously.
 Then you peek at her through the window trying to catch her eye although she is by then very happily playing with her new friends and having a wonderful time.
You are possibly already wearing sunglasses to hide the inevitable tears.
Happiness & sadness all at once....huge dollops of it.

Fast forward seven years & she is starting secondary school.
You kiss her & hug her - she's now the same height as you.
Make sure she has lunch money.
She closes your front door behind her 
- no walking her to school this time - 
and she's off.

A new chapter awaits....I'm holding on tight.

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  1. Simone, You are a wise woman to be savoring it all as it happens. I too, feel so many of those emotions, despite the fact that my boys are a bit older. I truly think there should be ONE word created just for Mothers that expresses that perfect combination of happiness and sadness. Ah. I think it's always been there, the letting go...we just feel it more at different times.
    Leslie @ Gwen Moss blog

  2. Oh Simone - I am SO with you on this, except in my case, it's my little boy who is turning into a 'man' and starting secondary school in September. I still remember when he used to wear shorts to school - how I LOVED to see his chubby knees throughout the changing seasons - lol! It's funny the things that we hold on to and remember isn't it. I wish you the best of luck and serenity with all of your changes.
    Paula xxx

    p.s. One thing that I came to terms with when we made the move from London to Norfolk, two years ago, is that the trauma of 'change' is far bigger in a Mother's head than in her children's. I had sleepless nights worrying about my 'babies' coping with 'losing' their friends and making new ones - in reality, they ran smiling and excited into their little country school - where they knew nobody - and didn't look back once!

  3. Every segment of their young life is SO different as they grow into adulthood. Record it all, knowing that time flys. No one could do it better than you. I know that!!!

  4. A beautiful heartfelt post Simone...all the changes and opportunities ahead..luckily she has a wonderful mother to watch over her.

  5. Ah, Simone...I remember that feeling so well but while your thoughts and feelings go into overload just remember, you to will be sitting with your gorgeous daughter in years to come remembering all these times together with tears and laughter. The quote by Catherine Wallace is so true and it made me smile because Victoria said to me last week...I've always been able to talk to you because you listen...I'm sure you're a fabulous Mum, Simone...hold on tight it just gets better and lovelier of course there are times when you hold your breath and pray but I really believe it's all the hard work you put in in their younger years that shapes them as they grow.
    You write with such sensitivity what a lovely Mum you are.

  6. Oh Simone, once again, such a beautiful post from you! Your descriptions are spot on. And the comments from all my fellow readers above me were spot on too. I love what Leslie said....there should be one word that describes that combination of happy and sadness we feel for our children at so many moments. hugs to you my friend xoxo

  7. I love the Catherine Wallace quote. I've cried those tears as a mum at every new school my kiddos have attended, every new year in a new class and I don't think they every stop! They grow so fast and those small steps to independence get bigger and bigger. Enjoy all those last events at her small school and look forward to hearing about all the fun at the next 'big' school (but first enjoy the summer together!).

  8. You have such a way with words Simone ~ I can actually picture your sweet girl smiling at you and patting your hand ~ don't worry Mum ~ I will be fine. So much going on for you right now ~ breathe. xo

  9. Very timely and beautiful post, Simone. I totally feel you with this! We have less than 2 months before Steff is moving up to Northern California to go to university and also the first time that I will have no children in my home. It's a bittersweet time for Alex and myself, as we know our time is limited with Steff and as excited as we are for all of her adventures and ours, our hearts are breaking just a little bit. Life is about to change big time! Have a wonderful week and make sure to take some time out just for you! Hugs and love, sweet friend! xxoo

  10. How well I remember this stage Simone. A time of anxiety and excitement. Learning to let go in little stages, So hard as a Mother, but instinctively you will know what to do. I love the words, "listen to your children" that is so very true and listening is one of the gifts we can give them.

    Enjoy this time.


  11. omg simone. this is just so beautiful. i can remember finishing primary school so clearly (and soon ill be celebrating my 5 year high school reunion - WHAT?). my mum cried so much haha and so did i! It's funny how i never knew how much it would affect my mum too! but its just as big a day for the mums as it is for the kids. ahh now i just cant wait to be a mum :)
    Hope you take it all in and hold on as tight as you can :) x

  12. What a lovely post, its such a mixed emotion time isn't it. Max my eldest is year 8 now and I remember feeling exactly the same, hecis in the high school you would probably have gone to if you had stayed in Cardiff, there are 360 in his year, practically a school but its amazing how they adapt and your daughter will have a wonderful time meeting new friends and enjoy her independence (even if us mums don't) Im about to go through it again with Louie my middle son, so like you am going through the end of term concerts and parties etc. Hope you and your lovely daughter enjoy them xx


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